I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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