Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize