his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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