I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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