And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
