Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
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SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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