If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize