she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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