i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
