Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
