I cockslap morals
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
