Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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