ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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