Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
