Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
