You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
