I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
