Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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