Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
