should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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