And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
