His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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