Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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