Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
