kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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