I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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