girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So vagazzling was a success
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
