I could have mohawked her pubes.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
