Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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