is wine microwaveable?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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