My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I love having hate sex.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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