goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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