the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
