At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He kissed a someone with a penis
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
