she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
