I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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