Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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