We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I feel like abortions should bother me more
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
