It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
