What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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