I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
