I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
In America we eat man semen.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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