I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
