We won't sleep together?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
And then he peed in my hair
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