just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
