I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
