A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
