batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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