My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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