We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
