just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
