There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
