8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
false alarm. still invincible.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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