the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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