I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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