He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
