Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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