We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
