Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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