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• (410): View more from Maryland

  This is evicking siegelnvs

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Im sorry?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  This is fucking ridiculous*

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  That's why Kanye is a gay fish.

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• (714): View more from California

  turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...

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• (880): View more from

  And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.

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