sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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