he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
