I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
