but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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