I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
