Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize