I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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