So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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