ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
