We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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