why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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