Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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