just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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