Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
