i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Quick, to the slutcave!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
