i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Did we literally take a cab across the street
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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