I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
