ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
