i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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